This blog post was made for for my old blog on BlogSpot, but I decided to share it here as well.

It's been 8 years since the last time I made a post for my blog on BlogSpot. A lot happened and I'm a very different person from who I was in 2010 through 2015. I currently find a lot of rhetoric from my W.A.C.'s House of Rants and Other Oddities blog (AKA WACHROO) to be very disturbing. It's also worth mentioning I no longer go by the handle W.A.C. or WAC anymore. I feel like my online persona as W.A.C. and WAC eventually got so toxic that I would rather go by my real name on social media platforms, but I have zero interest in purging my past. I'm proud of the fact I was willing to say so many unpopular things throughout most of my life and not care if people got offended. In a society that is increasingly becoming more fake with manufactured authenticity, looking at my old blog post is refreshing to me. Like sure, I find some of the rhetoric disturbing, but it makes it more difficult for me to form nostalgic REMEMBER WHEN type of scenarios in my head when I have digital evidence of my lack of happiness. Sometimes I am horrified by stuff I said or what people said to me when I lurk Wayback Machine for old forum posts.

So what happened in 8 years? I began to attend San Jose State University AKA SJSU in January 2015. It didn't go anywhere near as well as I hoped it would largely because of health issues and finances. My Fall 2015 semester was negatively impacted by the prescription drugs I was on at the time and I had to cancel every class I took in Spring 2016 because my physical health became such a disaster. I don't trust the medical industry at all after how they negatively impacted my life. Topirimate in particular is the worst drug I have ever tried in my lifetime. I told my doctor to not prescribe me anything that would negatively impact my education, yet he prescribed me a medication known to cause brain damage. Cognitively, I don't feel I have ever been the same since I have done that drug. I told a bay area doctor known as Dr. Timothy Ong that I didn't like how the medication was affecting me, but he told me it would work eventually and that I need to keep taking it. I think a normal dosage is about 25MG, yet he prescribed me 200MG twice per day at some point in 2016 while I was also prescribed to Norco. It was a disaster and the rebound headaches I experienced after quitting Norco was some of the worst pain I experienced in my lifetime. It's ironic because I started taking prescription drugs to deal with my 24/7 migraine, but all the medications did was to make the situation a million times worse. I suffered so much in my twenties and it wrecked my outlook on life for that decade.

My 27th birthday was October 24th, 2016, so I experienced most of my late twenties in the late 2010's. My physical health sucked so bad back then to where I struggled to do much of anything with my life. I completed a few freelance assignments and that was about it in terms of work. However, a lot of my friends were doing well in that time period to where I socialized a lot. I used to hang out with friends every week. Throughout most of my twenties, I put a lot of effort into being a social person, which is good because relying on the internet for a social life has major drawbacks. I love that I have a lot of awesome online friends and irl friends. I did ruin a ton of friendships in my twenties and at 30 years old in 2020, but my friendships right now seem very stable. I think part of that is because I treat people with more respect nowadays compared to some of my bad behavior in the past. However, I'm not ashamed of my past bad behavior and I live without shame. Human beings are meant to make mistakes and learn from their failures. It's just part of being human. I did not accept being human when I was younger.

For much of my life, I had idealized versions of myself that I failed to achieve because who I wanted to be was not human. I think that's part of why I became so obsessed with political ideology. I tried different political ideologies like hats. In particular, my politics began to shift away from left-wing politics and more towards libertarian politics in 2019. This is largely because I realized I fell for Democratic party propaganda for most of my life. America produces some of the most effective propaganda in the world. The two party system in particular has really damaged people's perception of political issues. Neither of the major two political parties will ever represent your interests or my interests. They are big tent parties that rigged our political system to their benefit. I simped hard for the Libertarian party in 2020 and 2021, but I no longer trust any political party in America after the Mises caucus hijacked the Libertarian party in 2022. I don't like attaching a political label to myself anymore because I don't like being stereotyped, but I view myself as an anti-statist because I prefer to live in a world without government. I also view myself as an anti-theist because I prefer to live in a world without religion. My hatred for Christianity was more extreme when I was younger, but I still hate religion. I can't help it. I wish people would think for themselves, rather than seek out collectives to tell them how to think and behave. I made the horrible mistake of trading religion with politics when I was younger, then treating my old liberal political views like a religious philosophy. I think most people can't deal with being alone, so they alter their personality because they care too much about what other people think of them. I feel like too many atheists fill the void of no religion with politics. Being a political agnostic, then later a political atheist when I was younger did not make me any happier or more fulfilled. It's a waste of my time and energy to invest so much of myself into politics unless that energy is used for artistic pursuits. Our electoral process is rigged against anybody who does not support the Democratic or Republican parties. I hate both political parties equally.

My early thirties was one of the ugliest time periods of my life. The pandemic began when I was 30 years old and it brought me to insanity. I developed an unhealthy addiction to pornography to cope with reality, which made reality more difficult for me to deal with. The only upside to watching so much porn in my early thirties is that it inspired me to put more effort into weight lifting. Watching beautiful men and women fuck each other for entertainment inspired me to want my body to become more beautiful. I also found it easier to lift weights for hours if I'm watching adult entertainment while lifting weights. lololololololol I'm more physically fit than I was for the vast majority of my life, but I still struggle with a ton of chronic health issues. I also don't like the aging process at all. Like the more muscle I build, it doesn't really make me any happier. The older I get, the more ugly I feel when I look at a mirror. I fully accept that I will eventually become an ugly old man. That's just life. I'll still put a ton of effort into fitness for the rest of my life, but I'm not delusional enough to believe I'll ever look as good as I want to look. I'm going to give the NO FAP trend a try in 2023 largely because I don't like some of the effects porn addiction had on my life. I don't have interest in dating outside of lust and I've seen too many people wreck their lives as a byproduct of horny couples enjoying their sexuality. I hate human sexuality largely because I never want to deal with consequences to sex, which is obnoxious because my sex drive is way higher in my thirties than it ever was in my teenage years or twenties. Nearly every day, my body is practically screaming to me, YOU NEED SEX! I hate it, but there isn't much I can do about it that wouldn't have negative outcomes toward my life.

The isolation of the pandemic negatively impacted my social life. A lot of my friends moved further away from me and hardly anyone I know in this area lives on their own anymore unless they are a monogamous couple with a dual income. Trying to make new friends is unappealing because I wish I could hang out with my current friends more often, but it's difficult with the craziness of the pandemic. I feel like I aged a ton during this pandemic because of all the stress I experienced. I lost tolerance for people treating me like shit in 2020 because I don't have the energy to deal with stuff like that anymore. One unfortunate aspect to youth is that we often waste a lot of our energy on dumb stuff that is a waste of time. The vast majority of social drama someone deals with in their twenties will be irrelevant to their lives when they get older.

One hobby I took up during the pandemic is speedrunning. I enjoyed multiplayer gaming way more than single player gaming in my twenties, but since I was more isolated during the pandemic, I played single player games more often. I had interest in the hobby of speedrunning for a long time, but I never committed myself to it until 2020 when I began to speedrun Sonic Advance 2. I love that game and I plan to continue making video content about it in the future. YouTube is one of my biggest priorities right now. I enjoy making videos for the platform, especially ever since I bought a new computer in 2021 with the Biden stimulus money. A lot of stuff I wanted to do on a computer for most of my adulthood, I can finally do it and I'm doing everything I can to become a great content creator. The video I released in 2022 that I'm the most proud of is called Sonic Origins: Game Facts Special. My next video for that channel will be the most ambitious video I have ever made. That brings me a lot of hope for my future since I have wanted to make great quality video entertainment for much of my life. The Sonic Origins video only took me three weeks to make, where as the current video I'm working on has been in development since September 2022.

Thank you to everyone who took time out of your day to read this blog post. If you would like me to make more blog posts on WACHROO, let me know. Currently a lot of images from my WACHROO blog are broken, which I plan to fix in the future. I also made a lot of blog posts on Newgrounds during the pandemic. While I prefer making blog posts for Newgrounds over BlogSpot, it feels good to post something under the wac89 handle. I take pride in that I'm willing to use my real name nowadays, but I also miss having more anonymity. Merging my online and irl life in 2010 by making a Facebook account was weird for me. I feel like I lost a lot of my past self when I made that decision, but human beings aren't meant to be stagnant.

Sonic Origins is a game compilation with remastered Sonic games that originally released for the Sega Genesis and Sega CD in the first half of the '90s. It will release on June 23rd, 2022 across multiple platforms as a “digital only” game with no plans for a physical release. It will be available on Playstation 4, Playstation 5, Xbox Series X & S, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and Windows through Steam and the Epic Games Store. [1] [2] It was initially reported that the standard and deluxe editions of Sonic Origins would have a huge file size difference, but that was likely due to a typo since Nintendo's official website changed the file size information. [3] [4]

The Steam version of Sonic Origins will have Denuvo DRM at the game's release, but Sega has previously removed that form of digital rights management in a patch for Sonic Mania, so the DRM might get removed in a future update. The release of Sonic Origins is the first time Sonic 3 & Knuckles will be getting released by Sega in over a decade. The previous time Sonic 3 & Knuckles got re-released was on the Sonic Classic Collection for Nintendo DS in 2010 and for Windows in the early 2010's. [5]

It was announced ports of Sonic 1, 2, 3, Sonic & Knuckles, and Sonic 3 & Knuckles would be delisted from Xbox 360, Playstation Now, Playstation 3, and Steam. This implied the Steam version of Sonic CD might not get delisted, but it got delisted. [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] Since some Sonic games were delisted from Steam, that means a lot of fan mods and fangames will be more difficult to experience such as the Sonic CD mod that allows players to play as Knuckles in Sonic CD. The fangame Sonic 3: Angel Island Revisited previously required players to own the Steam copy of Sonic 3 & Knuckles to play that fangame. [12] [13]

While a lot of Sonic games were delisted, the mobile ports for Sonic 1, 2, and Sonic CD will remain on both iOS and Android. [14] [15] The mobile ports were made using the Retro engine, which is a video game engine created in 2007 by Christian Whitehead AKA The Taxman in C++. [16] None of the games in Sonic Origins are emulated ports. This collection of games uses different versions of the Retro engine created by Christian Whitehead and Headcannon instead of emulation. This is the second time the Retro engine version of Sonic CD will experience a console release, but it will be the first time the Retro engine versions of Sonic 1 and 2 will received a console release after previously releasing on mobile devices in 2013. [17]

Sonic Origins is the first time players will be able to play Sonic 3 & Knuckles in widescreen with an officially released game by Sega, but many Sonic fans have previously played Sonic 3 & Knuckles in widescreen through a fangame called Sonic 3: Angel Island Revisited. The Sonic 3K Proof of Concept uploaded to Christian Whitehead's YouTube channel in 2014 uses a very different version of the Retro engine compared to what people will experience in Sonic Origins. The version of Sonic 3 & Knuckles in Sonic Origins was created by HeadCannon using a heavily modified version of the Retro engine. [18]

The Path Tracer for Sonic 3 & Knuckles in Sonic Origins will reduce the likelihood of some glitches players experienced in the original Sonic 3 & Knuckles. In a tweet by Simon Thomley AKA Stealth who founded HeadCannon, he referenced the original instruction booklet to Sonic 3 that referred to some of the collision issues in that game as “Dr. Robotnik's diabolical speed traps." [19]

While Christian Whitehead created the Retro engine, he did not work on Sonic Origins directly because he was busy working on a new 3D game with Private Division. [20] [21] The initial plan in Sonic Mania's development was to bundle the Sonic remasters alongside “a rather modest little original 2D game”. If Takashi Iizuka had agreed to this proposal, we might have gotten a game similar to Sonic Origins way sooner than 2022. [22]

All the new game content in Sonic Origins was worked on by Sega and HeadCannon, but Christian Whitehead did update the Retro engine to allow different versions of the Retro engine to work together in a single collection. [23] While HeadCannon was contracted to build a Retro engine version of Sonic 3 & Knuckles, their company was not asked to do any additional work to Sonic 1, 2, or CD. [24] Sonic CD was initially remastered with version 3 of the Retro engine, Sonic 1 and 2 were remastered with version 4 of the Retro engine, and Sonic Mania was made with version 5 of the Retro engine. The remaster of Sonic 3 & Knuckles was worked on with a heavily modified version 5 using “path tracing,” which Stealth has described as necessary for Sonic 3 & Knuckles. [25] Version 5 of the Retro engine was used for the Sonic 3 & Knuckles remaster because it was “more well-featured and better suited for S3K, as well as easier to use.” [26] Some of the contract workers hired to work on the Sonic 3 & Knuckles remaster includes Mr. Poe, who previously worked on the Sonic Worlds engine in Clickteam Fusion that powered games like Freedom Planet and Spark the Electric Jester. [27]

Every game in the menu screen for Sonic Origins has a 3D model of an island to represent that game. [28] [29] [30] [31] HeadCannon provided feedback for the island placement and Sega accepted some of their feedback. [32] The Sonic Spinball island is used to represent Mission mode and the Sonic 3D Blast Island is used to represent the Museum in the menu for Sonic Origins. [33]

Sega's team was responsible for creating Mission Mode, Boss Rush, Mirror Mode, and other features in Sonic Origins. [34] Mission Mode features missions that are ranked depending on a player's performance in a game. Some of the missions require players to use super forms for Sonic characters. The HUD menu for missions displays what rank players might earn depending on how well they play. [35] Mission Mode inserts enemies into zones that weren't designed for that zone in the original games. [36]

Classic Mode preserves the 4 by 3 aspect ratio of the original Genesis games, where as Anniversary and other modes allows gamers to play the game at a 16 by 9 aspect ratio. (5:45) Hidden Palace Zone returns for Sonic the Hedgehog 2, which was a scrapped stage in the original Genesis game, but was featured as a hidden level in the mobile port of Sonic 2. [35] Sonic's drop dash ability is not available in Classic Mode, but it will be available in other modes such as Anniversary and Story modes. [37] This is the second time Sonic 1 and 2 will be released with drop dash functionality. Previously the Sonic Ages versions of Sonic 1 and 2 for Nintendo Switch included the drop dash functionality for Sonic's gameplay.

Only Sonic is playable in Story Mode, which is an experience that combines Sonic 1, Sonic CD, Sonic 2, and Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Each game has a new opening and ending animation in Story Mode, which connects all four titles in “one big storyline”. [38] The new animated cutscenes in Story Mode were created by Tyson Hesse and Ian Flynn with Powerhouse Animation Studios. [39] Tyson Hesse previously shared artwork in 2021 that shares a similar art style to how Sonic looks in the new cutscenes. [40] Other animations by Tyson Hesse, such as the Sonic Mania Adventures animations, will be included in the game's new museum feature. [41] Sonic CD's original cutscenes will be restored using artificial intelligence technology and other software to enhance the video quality. [42]

Sonic Origins will feature a Mirror Mode, which is not the first time this option has been available to players with these games. You could previously play Mirror Mode in the emulated ports on Steam where everything, including the HUD and title screen, are mirrored. Mirror Mode is unlocked from the moment you start the game if you pre-order the Digital Deluxe Edition. The Anniversary mode replaces the lives system with collectable coins. You can also earn coins by completing missions in Mission Mode. The new coin system will allow players to immediately retry special stages in Anniversary Mode after failing the special stages. Coins allow players to unlock special content in the new museum feature such as remastered music tracks, artwork by Kazuyuki Hoshino, and “game design documents by Takashi Iizuka from when each of the titles were originally in development”. [43] Some of the artwork in the museum vault were previously available in the Sonic & Knuckles Collection for Windows. [44] Since the lives and continues system was removed in Anniversary Mode, you earn coins instead of a continue in Anniversary Mode. [45]

The Start Dash Pack DLC is included with a pre-order of the standard or digital deluxe edition of Sonic Origins. Features included with this DLC are 100 bonus coins, mirror mode unlocked at the start of the game, and letterbox backgrounds. The Premium Fun Pack DLC includes hard missions, letterbox backgrounds, character animation in the main menu, camera controls over the main menu islands, and character animations during the music islands. The Classic Music Pack DLC includes additional remastered music tracks from Mega Drive and Genesis titles such as Sonic Spinball, Knuckles Chaotix, and Sonic 3D Blast. [46] All of the DLC is included if players pre-order the Digital Deluxe Edition, which has caused a lot of criticism from fans. Memes were made by gamers to mock the business model. [47] [48] The digital deluxe edition will cost $5 more than the standard version of the game, which is a sales tactic Sega previously used for Sonic Colors Ultimate at the same exact prices. [49] [50]

For the iOS and Android versions of the Classic Sonic games, Christian Whitehead kept the original arrangements for the music using FM synthesis, but were “put together in a DAW environment and given an actual mix as opposed to simply recording the existing music. The Drum samples were sourced from the original synthesizer.” [51] The soundtrack to Sonic 3 & Knuckles in Sonic Origins will have some of its music replaced with compositions previously heard in a prototype of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 for Sega Genesis and the Sonic & Knuckles Collection for Windows. This is likely due to legal issues from Brad Buxer being involved with Sonic 3's original soundtrack. [52] [53] [54] Jun Senoue was involved with Sonic 3's soundtrack in Sonic Origins to replace some of the songs using the same sound chip from the Sega Genesis and his own digital audio tape collection. [55] [56] Jun Senoue also worked with Tee Lopes on the background music for the animations in Sonic Origins. [57] Hyper Potions, who previously made trailer music for Sonic Mania and a Tropical Resort remix for Sonic Colors Ultimate, were hired to work on music for a trailer to Sonic Origins. [58] [59]

Some of the in-game cutscenes have been polished with new animations. For example, Tails has a new intro for Sonic 3 & Knuckles where he lands his plane. [60] Both Sonic and Tails will be playable in every game in the collection. Knuckles will be playable in most of the games, except for Sonic CD. [61] The character select screen for Sonic 2 also includes the option to play as Sonic with Tails following him, along with the option to have Tails following Knuckles. [62]

Split screen multiplayer will be in the game for Sonic 2 and 3. [63] [64] More zones are available in the 2 player mode for Sonic 2 compared to the original Genesis game. [65] For the multiplayer versus mode in Sonic 3 & Knuckles, the competition zones had their art assets upscaled. [66] [67] Other forms of competitive play in Sonic Origins includes time attack modes with world rankings, which were confirmed on the Japanese website for Sonic Origins. [68]

If you would like to see links to over sixty sources that were used to make this video, check out the description of this video. We are trying to reach one hundred thousand subscribers in our first year, so if you hit the subscribe button, that would be awesome. My name is Willie Corley and I hope you enjoyed this video as much as I enjoyed making it. Thanks for watching. This has been a Game Facts Special.

[1] https://origins.sonicthehedgehog.com/?lang=en

[2] https://twitter.com/KatieChrz/status/1516791500381646849

[3]https://www.nintendo.com/store/products/sonic-origins-switch/

[4] https://www.nintendolife.com/news/2022/05/sonic-origins-file-sizes-for-standard-digital-deluxe-versions-seemingly-revealed

[5] https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_3_%26_Knuckles

[6] https://twitter.com/SEGAbits/status/1519316751971926016

[7] http://segabits.com/blog/2022/04/26/sega-delisting-sonic-1-2-3-knuckles-and-cd-from-digital-storefronts-on-may-20th/

[8] https://sonic.sega.jp/SonicChannel/topics/information/20220427_002878/

[9] https://sonic-sega-jp.translate.goog/SonicChannel/topics/information/20220427_002878/?_x_tr_sl=ja&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=sc

[10] https://store.steampowered.com/app/71162/Sonic_3__Knuckles/

[11] https://store.steampowered.com/app/200940/Sonic_CD/

[12] https://sonic3air.org/

[13] https://gamebanana.com/wips/53126

[14] https://twitter.com/SEGAForever/status/1519074026978791430?t=lmgWKY-B2VMLx909XwDMKg&s=19

[15] https://youtu.be/Stqo8KmTz2A

[16] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retro_Engine

[17] https://youtu.be/Stqo8KmTz2A

[18] https://youtu.be/Ct1cErthI6s

[19] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1538281729420427264

[20] https://twitter.com/CFWhitehead/status/1517073343047880704

[21] https://twitter.com/CFWhitehead/status/1516784160211230723

[22] https://forums.sonicretro.org/index.php?threads/sonic-mania-switch-ps4-xbox-one-pc.35709/page-269#post-896459

[23] https://twitter.com/CFWhitehead/status/1516784160211230723

[24] https://twitter.com/Head_cannon/status/1526736101108396033

[25] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1538281666132578304

[26] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1527424689433300992

[27] https://twitter.com/MRP0E/status/1516780083448537092

[28] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frcoI10xoLI

[29] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frcoI10xoLI

[30] https://youtu.be/0EicmYTMzRQ

[31] https://youtu.be/t8LjF9Lvgxk

[32] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1532988755149131776

[33] https://forums.sonicretro.org/index.php?posts/1006716/

[34] https://twitter.com/Head_cannon/status/1526744569789837312

[35] https://youtu.be/MRBQwcq8fiI

[36] https://twitter.com/MC1337_/status/1534879362197372930

[37] https://m.ruliweb.com/news/gameshow/PlayX4/read/166134

[38] https://youtu.be/tHGi6l1qjeg

[39] https://www.sonicstadium.org/2022/04/sonic-origins-story-mode-sequences-written-by-ian-flynn/

[40] https://twitter.com/tyson_hesse/status/1397684707651846145

[41] https://youtu.be/St86PQwccgc?t=3440

[42] https://twitter.com/bradyhartel/status/1516951540224991232?s=21

[43] https://youtu.be/tHGi6l1qjeg?t=160

[44] https://youtu.be/13scURh6V4E?t=163

[45] https://youtu.be/St86PQwccgc?t=1321

[46] https://forums.sonicretro.org/index.php?posts/1004413/

[47] https://www.ign.com/articles/sonic-origins-fans-arent-happy-with-locked-off-dlc-content

[48] https://twitter.com/devolverdigital/status/1516877660370124801

[49] https://store.epicgames.com/en-US/p/sonic-colors-ultimate

[50] https://store.epicgames.com/en-US/p/sonic-origins

[51] https://forums.sonicretro.org/index.php?threads/sonic-1-and-2-getting-the-sonic-cd-treatment-by-taxman-and-stealth.31061/page-4#post-736345

[52] https://youtu.be/pqfSBnqUDcg

[53] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1535079820689743872

[54] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1535079897399365632

[55] https://www.youtube.com/clip/Ugkxhw_yVutDnwFxgmaB9gIMOv6Lnpbv4vPq

[56] https://twitter.com/HCStealth/status/1535079940726542336

[57] https://youtu.be/tHGi6l1qjeg

[58] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8XmjNoisq4

[59] https://youtu.be/ZzHXjAJ86Zw

[60] https://youtu.be/G75NDuOuRN8?t=59

[61] https://asiablog.sega.com/archives/25004?lang=en

[62] https://twitter.com/MasteredRealm/status/1532683511655763969

[63] https://twitter.com/MasteredRealm/status/1532683648486543360

[64] https://twitter.com/MasteredRealm/status/1532684278244548608

[65] https://twitter.com/MasteredRealm/status/1532683948282810369

[66] https://youtu.be/13scURh6V4E?t=144

[67] https://asia.sega.com/SonicOrigins/en/mode/

[68] https://forums.sonicretro.org/index.php?posts/1005357/

Do you ever evaluate your life, look at your love of consumerism, and question if your values suck? That's how I feel right now. I don't like a lot of decisions I made in my life as a byproduct of my love for consumerism. If consumerism was so great, then why are so many people so miserable despite having more options for entertainment than ever before?

I'm a very unhappy human being. I was not happy before the pandemic, but suicide has been on my mind nearly every day throughout the pandemic. I hate the world we live in right now. The more I think critically about the current state of society, the more I hate being alive. It has lead to me embracing addictions as a means to cope with my mental deterioration as a person.

Much of what I used to believe in do not represent my current values anymore. Today is the first time I decided to not vote in my adulthood and that has really messed with my mindset, but it was largely because all of the candidates who ran for office suck. Trying to find a candidate who somewhat represents my values in the 2022 California primary election was like trying to find a gem in a pile of shit. There is no gem in that pile of shit, it's just a pile of shit.

The other day when I woke up, my mom was listening to random songs and the song If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow came on. Hearing the line, "If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?" hit me hard. I feel like much of what I do is an attempt to bring some sort of happiness to my life, but lately, nothing really does that anymore. I'm extremely miserable and unhappy. I got much of what I wanted in life when it comes to consumerism, but yet I don't like my life. My material objects and consumerist habits I have embraced for much of my life do not make me happy. Part of me wants to fully reject consumerism and start over as a person. Just completely reboot my life and my identity.

Lately my my YouTube channel has been doing well, but a lot of content I made for it is a byproduct of consumerism. I played a lot of video games in my lifetime as a byproduct of addiction. Gaming doesn't really make me happy anymore, especially competitive gaming. Trying to be competitive at a video game often makes me angry because I want to be exceptional at games to justify 25 years of video game addiction, but I'm often pissed off that I'm not better at video games. I find it kind of sad and pathetic.

I also can't concentrate well anymore. The pandemic lifestyle is not working well for me because I have attention deficit disorder. To be able to get work done, often times I need to be in an environment with minimal distractions. Living in a tiny house with parents and a ton of cats is not an environment with minimal distractions. Part of why I used to do so well in college is because I would spend much of my time studying books and notes for classes in a campus library. I excel in academic environments, but the cost of education is way too high. My failed attempt to finish my education at a university destroyed me financially to the point where I had to stand in line at food banks in my late twenties. Sometimes I yell at a cat because I'll be trying my best to concentrate, then I hear a meow and my thoughts become scrambled. My ability to deep focus has gone to shit and I frequently feel like my brain does not work well anymore. It's awful and I feel like a former shell of my old self.

I have also become way less social during the pandemic and that has negatively impacted my mental health. A lot of my friends moved further away from me or they currently live in situations that make it more difficult to hang out. I had a vibrant social life for much of my twenties, but nowadays, I'm usually isolated at my home with my parents. I don't like how this pandemic has negatively impacted my life or the life of my friends. I'm frequently depressed and miserable over the current state of my life. I also haven't been invited to a party in over two years, which has made me extremely nostalgic for a time period of my life when I embraced a lot of self destructive behavior at parties.

Life just doesn't seem fun anymore. There was a brief period of time at age 32 when I felt some happiness, but it was short lived and partially a byproduct of me indulging in alcohol for a few weeks. Prior to that, I went 23 months without alcohol to prove to myself that I am not an alcoholic. I don't view myself as an alcoholic because of self control, yet it seems like when I avoid it for long periods of time, I become extremely unhappy. At the same time, my body does not handle alcohol well compared to when I was in my twenties. Even if I only have two drinks, I often feel horrible the next day. I hate getting older and don't look forward to the future. I have tried my best to be optimistic about the future, but my brain will not allow me to happy. Maybe I should try a dopamine detox? Doing that worked well for some people.

I hope everyone here has a super lovely day. I'm quite happy with my my entry for Pixel Day 2022. I look forward to seeing creations by other users on this wonderful website today. ^_^

So I have been quiet on this platform in 2021. It's largely because the type of content I wanted to make in 2021 did not work well for Newgrounds. Maybe 2022 will be different. I tried being more active on YouTube and Twitch this year, but I was disappointed in the outcome of my content. Viewership with my previous two Twitch streams was poor. I got less than one viewer on average for my fourth and fifth speedrun livestreams on Twitch. I have also noticed as of late that the para-social aspects of Twitch are really creepy. Like to the point where I question if it's even worth it to continue using Twitch as a platform. If I make the decision to quit using Twitch, then I can focus more on my YouTube and Newgrounds accounts.

It has been awhile since I made a blog post on here. Most of my plans for 2020 were destroyed by the pandemic, but I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. Pixel Day 2021 will take place on January 23rd, 2021. In celebration of that event, I'm working on a new pixel art project. I recently took a photo of Little Betty on December 23rd that I wanted to convert into pixel art. Embedded below in this blog post is my current progress on that project. I want it to look super awesome by the time I'm ready to upload the pixel art for Pixel Day 2021. If you enjoy making pixel art, I highly encourage you to participate in the event. Just make sure to use the tag "pixelday2021" for your submission to the art portal.

If you want to follow what else I have been doing on social media, I have a new Twitter account that I mostly use to rant about politics and I recently made an Instagram account that I mostly use to post photos of my favorite cat, Little Betty. I'm also learning how to speedrun Sonic Advance 2, but I currently find it difficult to record footage of my best times for in-game runs. I hope everyone who reads this blog post has an awesome new year. Hopefully 2021 will be a much better year than 2020 for all of us.

-Willie Corley

10/5/2020 Edit: I changed the account name from WillieCorleyArt to @TheWillieCorley.

I got locked out of my main Twitter account yesterday, then I made a blog entry on Newgrounds complaining about the situation. I was going to take a break from social media for the rest of the month, but I decided the best thing I can do is grow my alternative account on Twitter in case something like this ever happens again. The biggest lesson I learned from this experience is that I should not rely on one account for Twitter because the website locks people's accounts for the dumbest reasons imaginable.

I changed the Twitter handle of my alternative account to WillieCorleyArt. I will primarily use that Twitter handle for linking art from my Newgrounds account. One of my goals for 2020 is to get a new scanner so I can showcase art I have worked on this year. Once I have a new scanner, expect new art from me. ^_^ I hope everyone here has a super lovely day and thank you for reading this blog post.

-Willie Corley

It's insane how random it can be to lose access to an account I have used for 11 years. After using Twitter for so long, I've been uncertain about what I want to do with that platform. I hate so many things about Twitter, but I recognize it's a useful tool for promotion. I was going to delete my Twitter account on July 1st, but changed my mind largely due to drama that took place in the Smash Community. That drama is the most unbelievable shit-show I have ever seen in a video game community that I was part of. I could go into a long rant about my thoughts on what happened, but I'll save that for another time. It's ironic that Twitter's poor moderation was the primary factor into why I was going to leave because of what happened today. I lost contact with followers I liked thanks to Twitter's abysmal moderation system.

Fast fast forward to August, I put a lot of effort into my my Twitter account and gained over 90 followers so far this month. That is a huge jump for my account largely because of the hashtags #NoTulsicratUnder1K and #NoLibertarianUnder1k. I'm vocal on that platform with my support for Tulsi Gabbard as a politician and my support for Libertarian party candidates such as Vermin Supreme and Jo Jorgensen. I also followed people who liked my tweets, which gained me additional followers.

My Twitter account got additional activity today because Vermin Supreme retweeted one of my tweets. This is not the first time he retweeted me, but it got more traffic than previous instances he retweeted me. I followed everyone who liked the tweet, then got locked out of my Twitter account for "automated behavior that violates the Twitter Rules." I can't unlock my account because Twitter wants my cell phone number. Not only do I not have cell phone service, but I wouldn't want to give it to them because they have a history of shady behavior. Twitter should not be trusted with anyone's phone number, yet my account is locked because I won't give them a cell phone number I don't have. My Twitter account now looks shady to viewers because I followed people who liked what I had to say in a tweet.

This puts me in a weird position where I'm very worried about the future of social media. I want to accomplish a lot on Newgrounds in the future, but it will require me to promote my material on other platforms to get the type of traffic I need. There aren't many successful people on Newgrounds who rely entirely on this platform to promote their content. I often share content I like from Newgrounds to other platforms in hopes that it inspires more people to visit this website often.

The downsides to our reliance on very few social media websites has never been more obvious to me than today. I try my best to follow Twitter's guidelines, but Twitter is a website that can trash a person's internet career at random. A good example of this is the website OnlyFans. I personally hate that website because it lacks a good search feature. People who want to make a lot of money through OnlyFans have to rely on other websites to promote their account, which is difficult because very few modern social media websites allow porn. Someone can rely on Twitter to promote their OnlyFans account, then get banned from Twitter and not be able to pay rent during a pandemic when the job market is garbage. It absolutely amazes me a website like OnlyFans is so successful because it forces people to have a strong social media presence on other websites for promotion. It seems like a backwards model for a website, but that's modern social media. Modern social media websites are horribly designed, yet people are reliant on them for promoting their work.

I look at the situation we have with social media and wonder what the fuck are people supposed to do? I tried making an account on a forum the other day and never received an activation email. A lot of websites with an old school mindset are not well maintained and expensive to run. Like if I were to put a lot of effort into a website with good hosting, it would cost me a lot of money. So I rely too much on these social media websites and it screwed me over today. I have no clue when I will be able to access my Twitter account again. If I get cell phone service next year, I am not giving Twitter my phone number. Is my Twitter account I invested over 11 years into now over? I'm just blown away by this situation. I can't even call a phone number for customer service because Twitter doesn't offer that. I have to hope a human being responds to my email about my locked account.

There are also a lot of risks to staying on mainstream social media websites. I have said a lot of edgy things on the internet that would kill some people's careers. The main reason why I previously did not link to my Twitter account on Newgrounds is because I tried to have my Twitter account be somewhat anonymous for awhile because I was paranoid about employers. One of my plans this year was to find a local job, but those plans were ruined by the pandemic. Now I'm at a point where I give less of a fuck about what a potential employer sees on the internet because the economy was ruined by our government. Life seems like an uphill battle right now, so I might as well be transparent about what I think about all of the bullshit going on right now.

The plus side to all of this is that I plan to blog on my Newgrounds account way more often. I was going to wait until I had cool stuff prepared for the website, but I need to buy things I can't afford right now to accomplish some of my goals for this website. So for the rest of this year, I will primarily use Newgrounds as a blog. I hope people here enjoy my future blog entries because losing my Twitter account just freed up a ton of my time for other websites.

-Willie Corley

My advice to everyone frustrated by the health pandemic is to take care of your mental health. Currently I'm avoiding a bunch of websites I'm addicted to because they're badly impacting my emotions during this health pandemic. The constant conversations about this pandemic on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Discord have been driving me nuts. Scrolling through feeds on social media are a constant reminder of this horrible virus. Many people I know are impacted by this health pandemic far worse than me, so I'm just fortunate that I have what I currently have in life.

It's okay to be more sensitive than you want to be, especially during a horrible health pandemic. I tried being an emotional brick wall when I was younger, but after two major health collapses in my adulthood before I reached my late twenties, I'm way more sensitive about the state of my life than I used to be. I find it harder to deal with certain type of criticism now compared to five years ago, which isn't good, but at least I'm self-aware it's a problem that I need to fix.

We are all negatively impacted by this horrible virus and I feel compelled to rant about how it negatively impacted my plans for 2020. I still have plans for Newgrounds this year, but much of what I intended to do in 2020 will instead be done in 2021 due to the health pandemic negatively impacting my life. My plan at the beginning of last month (March 2020) was to get a local job so I could save up a bunch of money for creative pursuits, but now I can't do that without putting my health at risk. So with less income, it's going to be a lot longer before I can afford things like a printer, scanner, audio interface, instruments, microphones, and other supplies that would benefit my music, art, and graphic design.

I'm optimistic 2020 will still be a good year for me despite how horrible it started off, but this will be a very different year than many of us expected. I'll give occasional progress reports in the future when I have positive things to report about that have nothing to do with the health pandemic. Right now I'm focused on redesigning my bedroom so it functions more like an office than a standard bedroom. I got a roll-up bed just so I can save a ton of space for my future creative pursuits. I don't have a great track record on accomplishing my goals due to how badly my perfectionism killed a lot of projects in my twenties (example: my cancelled Rayman review), but that won't happen this decade. I have learned a ton from my failures. It's better to release something imperfect than to outright cancel projects.

Biggest obstacle I have to deal with is my 24/7 migraine. I have struggled with a 24/7 migraine for over 11 years. It's a lot better this year compared to 2016-2019, but I'm still suffering in chronic pain. I still have days where I do hardly anything besides suffer laying in bed, but at least I'm nowhere near as bedridden as I was in my late twenties. It just amazes me that when my health improved to where I feel like I'm capable of fixing my life, much of the country gets so sick I'm stuck indoors all the time.

I hope I can eventually create content for Newgrounds that is worth enjoying. My primary goal for Newgrounds this decade is to upload music, art, and animation. I bought a license to use Adobe's programs for a year so I have the software to accomplish my goals. I also brought a light table into my bedroom this month to make animating a lot easier. My dad initially got it 25 years ago back when he did photography for living, so it's nice that I'm able to repurpose it for my needs. Here's a few photos of my kitty Little Betty on my light table.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read all of this. I wish you all the very best in life.

-Willie Corley

http://williecorley.com/

Newgrounds will be my primary social media platform for 2020, so a website url I bought this year of my name will redirect to http://williecorley.newgrounds.com/. Looking forward to improving as an artist and showcasing my improvement on this website.