Whenever I look up black pill content on YouTube, a lot of the people who make this type of content seem about as miserable as it gets. So for me to admit that I took the black pill is not something I take pride in, but to be completely blunt, I have no hope for the future. I keep lying to myself in hopes that I can transform into an optimistic happy person, but the reality is that I am so miserable that I self harmed myself more times in 2022 than any other year of my life. A lot of this is because I took the black pill.

What is the black pill? A lot of different news outlets and YouTubers have completely different answers. For me personally, it's a form of acceptance that the world is horrible and reality sucks. To be more explicit, I have noticed taking the black pill can apply to both dating and politics. I'll start off with politics. Our elections are rigged. Like our entire political system is designed to waste our time and energy. I wasted years of my life caring about politics because I was so propagandized. People want to believe things that are not true because it makes life more tolerable for them. I'm no exception to this.

So how is our election system rigged? The United States of America has over 300 million people, yet once every four years, we are always given two abysmal options for the most powerful job position in America. That's by design. The system is designed to give us horrible candidates because it was rigged by the two party system. The political primaries in the United States of America are also rigged. The best example I can give is the 2016 Democratic primary election. Hillary Clinton's campaign bribed the Democratic National Committee to rig the process so she can be the nominee of the Democratic party in 2016. It backfired. People discovered this information from WikiLeaks in 2016. It's the reason why Debbie Wasserman Schultz had to resign from her position as Chair of the Democratic National Committee. Even Senator Elizabeth Warren admitted that the 2016 Democratic primary election was rigged. There is so much information on the internet documenting the corruption from that election. The only reason why we have this much evidence of that election being rigged is because of leaked information we normally would never see in a million years. How many other elections in this country have been rigged? Probably quite a bit, but we will never know the true answer.

Whenever a politician running for office says that they will start a political revolution, they are lying. We will never achieve a political revolution through elections because our elections are rigged. All the partisan hatred people have for each other is a distraction from how much the people in power are screwing us. These people do not care about you. They do not know who you are. You are just a statistic to them. The system will never be reformed to our benefit. That's one of the reasons why I support destroying the system we have. I want to see the end of the United States of America. This is a horrible country run by horrible people. The wrong people are always in power. This is not going to change unless the system is changed, which is unlikely to happen unless the system is destroyed.

How do we destroy the system? I don't know. Like realistically speaking, I don't have an answer of how we can destroy a system that is designed to be a rigged system. Some people would suggest violence as an answer to combat state violence, but I don't see a positive outcome in that. The most peaceful solution I can offer is to create art and entertainment that influences people. Influence has a lot of power. Most of our entertainment is created with the mindset of maximizing profit, rather than to create art with a clear purpose. That's one reason why I like Newgrounds. Newgrounds is one of the only social media platforms I can think of that actually cares about artists. YouTube does not care about artists, they care about money. With how bad things have gotten in real life and online, we are very fortunate that Newgrounds still exists in 2023.

Now the other part of the black pill. There are a lot of black pill channels on YouTube focused on dating. While I think a lot of rhetoric from these channels are misogynistic and relies on gender stereotypes, the reason why these channels exist is because the amount of people giving up on dating keeps increasing. A lot of people are trying to cope with the fact many of them will never be in a loving relationship for a wide variety of reasons. The biggest failure of these channels is the ego of their content creators. They try to emphasis an answer of sorts to explain why modern dating went poorly for so many people. Why dating does not work out for a lot of people does not have a one size fits all answer. If you look at divorce statistics, it's clear to me that it's insanely difficult for most people to remain married for most of their lives. A lot of collective ideals do not work well for many Americans, especially in a CULTure that is becoming increasingly more individualist and less collectivist. That's part of why so many people cheat on their partners.

The human race has a long history of people not getting along very well. It's part of why war has been such a huge problem through human history. A lot of people lack healthy coping skills and/or they have social deficiencies that make it more difficult to form a healthy long-term relationship. None of us are robots. People are complicated and often times don't even know what they truly want in life. Sometimes what people want in life changes with age. Two people in their twenties might have high compatibility with each other partially because of physical attraction. Unfortunately, a lot of couples that are highly attracted to each other in their twenties might become physically repulsed by each other in their sixties because the human body ages like shit. It's horrifying how ugly people get with age. Many relationships cannot survive once physical attraction is dead. It's unrealistic to assume a couple that gets married in their twenties will still look good in old age. People change a lot over the course of their lifetime, both physically and mentally.

The consequences to two people being attracted to each other in a short period of time can lead to long-term permanent consequences, especially if a couple reproduces. For me personally, there has never been a part of me that desired marriage or children, but most people, including myself, are biologically programmed to want sex. Sex is one of the most consequential decisions a human being can make in their lifetime. I struggle badly with mental illness to where I do not want my genetics spread under any circumstance. Under the wrong set of circumstances, who knows what could happen with my genetics if I reproduced? Like what if my great great great great grandchild grew up to become the next Hitler? That could happen. When I am at my absolute worst, my mindset is psychotic and selfish. My genetics can never be spread under any circumstance. I will probably die a virgin because I am horrified by the potential consequences to sex. Sex has scared me from a young age, yet people have mocked me for my fear of sex throughout my life. It's one of the reasons why I think much of our population lacks foresight into how specific decisions can ruin a person's life.

It's impossible for someone to disaster proof their life, but they can make decisions to reduce the likelihood of horrible outcomes. For example, I'm a 33 year old man who still does not know how to drive. If I was a driver, it's possible I could experience a car crash in my lifetime. I don't want to take the risk of experiencing something like that, so I chose to not drive, which is difficult in a location with lousy public transit. Much of my life choices are a byproduct of fear. One thing I miss about my wild partying days is that it was a short term period of my life where I had the power of liquid courage, but after one night where I passed out drunk at a bonfire in 2014, I became way more careful with alcohol consumption. I feel like I'm the type of person who needs something that cognitively impairs me in order for me to make a lot of decisions that scare me.

So with all of this in mind, I don't really see myself ever dating at any point in my lifetime largely because reality terrifies me. One night of fun can ruin a person's entire life. Not only am I not relationship material, but the older I get, the uglier I feel as a human being. I take selfies all the time, but I rarely post them online because I genuinely find myself hideous. I hate how the human body ages and I don't like how I look. I probably felt the most comfortable in my own skin when I was a child in the '90s. I never really liked how I looked as an adult. I also don't like the whole fake it 'til you make it mindset where people fake who they are to attract a potential partner. Even if that results in short-term pleasure, it almost never ends well. I want to be myself and nothing else. If being myself means I'm single my entire life, so be it. I took the black pill and I'm not ashamed of my decision.

Both photos were taken on December 8th, 2022.