How was your day?
I love Newgrounds. ^_^
Age 34, Male
Joined on 3/26/05
Posted by WillieCorley - June 22nd, 2023
I wrote the script to most of the latest episode of Game Facts Special. Unfortunately, there was not enough room in the description to list all of the references, so I created this blog post to list my references.
Naruto Fact Ticker References
Naruto: Konoha Ninpocho References
Naruto: Ninja Village Jintori Battle References
Naruto: Konoha Senki References
Naruto RPG 2: Chidori vs. Rasengan References
Naruto: Clash of Ninja Series References
Naruto: Clash of Ninja DS / Naruto: Gekitō Ninja Taisen! DS References
Naruto Shippuden: Ninja Destiny 3 References
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 for Playstation Vita
Lost Naruto Mobile Games References
Posted by WillieCorley - June 11th, 2023
Today is day 1 of NO SUGAR. This is my diet as of June 10th, 2023. First meal I had was four eggs cooked with olive oil over sourdough bread.
Second thing I consumed was flavorless pea protein powder mixed with cold water. It tasted awful, but since I'm trying to quit sugar, I'm going to consume it every day for over thirty days unless it causes me stomach pain issues. I stirred it with a spoon before drinking it.
My dinner was cooked vegetables. I took frozen vegetables, then cooked it with olive oil.
After eating cooked vegetables, there was a lot of olive oil left behind, so I added sourdough bread to the bowl. I wished I took a photo of what it looked like with the bread soaked in olive oil. Oh well.
On a completely different note, yesterday I uploaded a video to YouTube where I pet my favorite cat and talk about the recently announced Sonic Superstars. Are any of you excited about that game?
Posted by WillieCorley - June 8th, 2023
I'm proud of myself and don't envy anybody else's life. 100% done living with regret. It's not a healthy mindset. I used to suck at taking care of myself as an adult, but I'm much better at it now. Just on skin care alone, there is a huge difference between me in 2016 vs. 2023.
Posted by WillieCorley - June 8th, 2023
Enjoy life. Quit comparing yourself to other people. Want to enjoy icecream with peanut butter cups? Do it. Want to enjoy alcohol with friends? Do it. Don't want to do any of that? Then don't. You only have one life to live. Live life based off what you feel is a fulfilling life.
Posted by WillieCorley - January 23rd, 2023
I was hoping to create cool pixel art for Pixel Day 2023 on Newgrounds, but I was extremely sick last night and it set back my mindset by quite a bit. For those who don't know, I suffer with a 24/7 migraine. There were eras of my life where headache pain was so bad that I would scream for hours in my bedroom. That has not happened to me in years, but it happened to me last night.
I feel like the more I try to live my life like I'm still in my mid twenties, the more I suffer in my mid thirties. I enjoyed alcohol more in January of this year than the entirety of 2022. Enjoying alcohol boosted my mental health by quite a bit because I'm an addict. I regularly want my brain to go from a 0 to a 1.
If I'm not doing recreational drugs, I'm often doing stuff like consuming sugar and other stuff to get my brain to function a certain way. It's a problem. I need to learn how to live a 100% drug free life without any drugs, including alcohol, sugar, and caffeine.
My energy levels are so bad that I'm thinking about quitting weight lifting at gyms. Whenever I do intensive workouts, I'm extremely hungry. After I eat, my brain hardly works well anymore and all I want to do is sleep for extremely long hours. My body handles food so badly nowadays that I might have to become someone who fasts all the time because eating seems to kill most of my physical and mental energy in my mid thirties.
I try to live like I'm in my mid twenties and it does not work well at all anymore. I look at beautiful people on social media and it makes me want to weight lift like crazy, but a lot of fitness social media influencers do this for a living. Their life is workout, eat good quality food, and get eight hours of sleep. I cannot do that. My body is a mess plagued by chronic health issues.
The more I compare myself to other people, the more I want to self harm, which is a huge problem. It's one of the reasons why I took the black pill. I cannot compare myself to others without going insane. All I can do is compare myself to who I was yesterday. It's unrealistic for me to compare myself to who I was when I was way younger because I'm not that person anymore. My body is different. I want to be this ultra healthy sexy person, but health and finance issues cause me a ton of problems.
Part of why I want to become an ultra healthy sexy person is because the male sex drive drives my brain to insanity. Like my sex drive is way higher in my thirties than it was in my teenage years and twenties, but I don't want to deal with consequences to sexual behavior. I wish the animal brain part of me was non-functional so my mind could stay focused on stuff that's more important. I hate that my mind is constantly consumed by lust.
What also drives me insane is the inflation we are experiencing right now. It has become unaffordable for most people to live a quality life without family support. We are creating a society where someone either needs to be high income or a workaholic just to be independent. California as a state has gone downhill when it comes to affordability. I'm extremely depressed and I feel like I need to become someone who rejects much of who I used to be in order for me to survive long-term.
Getting older is horrible because the human body ages like shit. We can only take so many hits. I struggle to deal with reality on a regular basis. I wish I could enjoy drugs every day to escape from reality, but that would lead to self destruction. I'm too self aware of consequences to live my life the way I want to live it because I don't want to ruin my future.
Posted by WillieCorley - January 14th, 2023
Remember my Pixel Day 2022 Little Betty Avatar? Well, I uploaded a new video today showcasing a speedrun that features the pixel art. If you enjoy watching speedruns, I highly recommend checking out my latest YouTube video. ^_^ I don't think there is a speedrun of Sonic Advance 2 with better image quality than this. I recorded the footage in lossless quality with OBS, then I used Adobe Premiere Pro to crop it and upscale it with a plugin. That plugin is called Vizual PixelPerfect and I highly reccomend it to anyone who likes to create pixelated video content in Adobe Premiere Pro.
Posted by WillieCorley - January 11th, 2023
Whenever I look up black pill content on YouTube, a lot of the people who make this type of content seem about as miserable as it gets. So for me to admit that I took the black pill is not something I take pride in, but to be completely blunt, I have no hope for the future. I keep lying to myself in hopes that I can transform into an optimistic happy person, but the reality is that I am so miserable that I self harmed myself more times in 2022 than any other year of my life. A lot of this is because I took the black pill.
What is the black pill? A lot of different news outlets and YouTubers have completely different answers. For me personally, it's a form of acceptance that the world is horrible and reality sucks. To be more explicit, I have noticed taking the black pill can apply to both dating and politics. I'll start off with politics. Our elections are rigged. Like our entire political system is designed to waste our time and energy. I wasted years of my life caring about politics because I was so propagandized. People want to believe things that are not true because it makes life more tolerable for them. I'm no exception to this.
So how is our election system rigged? The United States of America has over 300 million people, yet once every four years, we are always given two abysmal options for the most powerful job position in America. That's by design. The system is designed to give us horrible candidates because it was rigged by the two party system. The political primaries in the United States of America are also rigged. The best example I can give is the 2016 Democratic primary election. Hillary Clinton's campaign bribed the Democratic National Committee to rig the process so she can be the nominee of the Democratic party in 2016. It backfired. People discovered this information from WikiLeaks in 2016. It's the reason why Debbie Wasserman Schultz had to resign from her position as Chair of the Democratic National Committee. Even Senator Elizabeth Warren admitted that the 2016 Democratic primary election was rigged. There is so much information on the internet documenting the corruption from that election. The only reason why we have this much evidence of that election being rigged is because of leaked information we normally would never see in a million years. How many other elections in this country have been rigged? Probably quite a bit, but we will never know the true answer.
Whenever a politician running for office says that they will start a political revolution, they are lying. We will never achieve a political revolution through elections because our elections are rigged. All the partisan hatred people have for each other is a distraction from how much the people in power are screwing us. These people do not care about you. They do not know who you are. You are just a statistic to them. The system will never be reformed to our benefit. That's one of the reasons why I support destroying the system we have. I want to see the end of the United States of America. This is a horrible country run by horrible people. The wrong people are always in power. This is not going to change unless the system is changed, which is unlikely to happen unless the system is destroyed.
How do we destroy the system? I don't know. Like realistically speaking, I don't have an answer of how we can destroy a system that is designed to be a rigged system. Some people would suggest violence as an answer to combat state violence, but I don't see a positive outcome in that. The most peaceful solution I can offer is to create art and entertainment that influences people. Influence has a lot of power. Most of our entertainment is created with the mindset of maximizing profit, rather than to create art with a clear purpose. That's one reason why I like Newgrounds. Newgrounds is one of the only social media platforms I can think of that actually cares about artists. YouTube does not care about artists, they care about money. With how bad things have gotten in real life and online, we are very fortunate that Newgrounds still exists in 2023.
Now the other part of the black pill. There are a lot of black pill channels on YouTube focused on dating. While I think a lot of rhetoric from these channels are misogynistic and relies on gender stereotypes, the reason why these channels exist is because the amount of people giving up on dating keeps increasing. A lot of people are trying to cope with the fact many of them will never be in a loving relationship for a wide variety of reasons. The biggest failure of these channels is the ego of their content creators. They try to emphasis an answer of sorts to explain why modern dating went poorly for so many people. Why dating does not work out for a lot of people does not have a one size fits all answer. If you look at divorce statistics, it's clear to me that it's insanely difficult for most people to remain married for most of their lives. A lot of collective ideals do not work well for many Americans, especially in a CULTure that is becoming increasingly more individualist and less collectivist. That's part of why so many people cheat on their partners.
The human race has a long history of people not getting along very well. It's part of why war has been such a huge problem through human history. A lot of people lack healthy coping skills and/or they have social deficiencies that make it more difficult to form a healthy long-term relationship. None of us are robots. People are complicated and often times don't even know what they truly want in life. Sometimes what people want in life changes with age. Two people in their twenties might have high compatibility with each other partially because of physical attraction. Unfortunately, a lot of couples that are highly attracted to each other in their twenties might become physically repulsed by each other in their sixties because the human body ages like shit. It's horrifying how ugly people get with age. Many relationships cannot survive once physical attraction is dead. It's unrealistic to assume a couple that gets married in their twenties will still look good in old age. People change a lot over the course of their lifetime, both physically and mentally.
The consequences to two people being attracted to each other in a short period of time can lead to long-term permanent consequences, especially if a couple reproduces. For me personally, there has never been a part of me that desired marriage or children, but most people, including myself, are biologically programmed to want sex. Sex is one of the most consequential decisions a human being can make in their lifetime. I struggle badly with mental illness to where I do not want my genetics spread under any circumstance. Under the wrong set of circumstances, who knows what could happen with my genetics if I reproduced? Like what if my great great great great grandchild grew up to become the next Hitler? That could happen. When I am at my absolute worst, my mindset is psychotic and selfish. My genetics can never be spread under any circumstance. I will probably die a virgin because I am horrified by the potential consequences to sex. Sex has scared me from a young age, yet people have mocked me for my fear of sex throughout my life. It's one of the reasons why I think much of our population lacks foresight into how specific decisions can ruin a person's life.
It's impossible for someone to disaster proof their life, but they can make decisions to reduce the likelihood of horrible outcomes. For example, I'm a 33 year old man who still does not know how to drive. If I was a driver, it's possible I could experience a car crash in my lifetime. I don't want to take the risk of experiencing something like that, so I chose to not drive, which is difficult in a location with lousy public transit. Much of my life choices are a byproduct of fear. One thing I miss about my wild partying days is that it was a short term period of my life where I had the power of liquid courage, but after one night where I passed out drunk at a bonfire in 2014, I became way more careful with alcohol consumption. I feel like I'm the type of person who needs something that cognitively impairs me in order for me to make a lot of decisions that scare me.
So with all of this in mind, I don't really see myself ever dating at any point in my lifetime largely because reality terrifies me. One night of fun can ruin a person's entire life. Not only am I not relationship material, but the older I get, the uglier I feel as a human being. I take selfies all the time, but I rarely post them online because I genuinely find myself hideous. I hate how the human body ages and I don't like how I look. I probably felt the most comfortable in my own skin when I was a child in the '90s. I never really liked how I looked as an adult. I also don't like the whole fake it 'til you make it mindset where people fake who they are to attract a potential partner. Even if that results in short-term pleasure, it almost never ends well. I want to be myself and nothing else. If being myself means I'm single my entire life, so be it. I took the black pill and I'm not ashamed of my decision.
Both photos were taken on December 8th, 2022.