Over a decade ago, I wanted to kill myself, but I learned that if I regularly indulged in consumable vices, the suicidal thoughts would go away. Like if I ate a ton of icecream with chocolate, life seemed good. Well, after indulging in bad habits on a regular basis for over a decade, the aging process kicked my ass in 2024 to where I want to quit all consumable vices in 2025. The problem with this plan is that it has decimated my mental health to an extreme.

This is my 2025 NEW YEARS RESOLUTiON:

1. Quit alcohol.

2. Quit THC.

3. Quit donuts.

4. Quit icecream.

5. Quit eggnog.

6. Quit cookies.

So far, I have successfully quit all six of those consumable vices and I plan to quit chocolate in February. The problem is that my mental health is now horrendous every single day. Like to appear happy, I feel like I have to play a character because I am insanely miserable. It does not help that I have also been very sick for most of this month, so I quit my favorite comfort food in the same month I felt very ill. My initial plan was to put a ton of effort into fitness so I would get an immediate direct benefit. Instead, I have been sick for over two weeks, so I am in way worse physical shape than usual despite quitting unhealthy habits.

My current situation feels like a nightmare. I spent most of last month recovering from a medical procedure, then this month, I am recovering from being very sick. I am physically out of shape compared to how I normally feel. My body functions like garbage if I do not exercise often, but whenever I exercised this month, I felt way sicker the next day. This has been a horrendous month of my life. I hate the current state of my life. I hope the rest of 2025 is better because the first twenty days of 2025 has been horrible for me.